My wife Cindy passed away on June 13, 2002 from cancer. With a powerful hand the Lord brought her home. I know her days were numbered and her number was up for life on this earth. God is so faithful!........................................

Life started changing for Cindy and I in the spring of 2001. We went to Charleston SC in March to celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary and had a wonderful time. It was like that time frame was a blessed part of life and enjoyment together. I had been in the Air Force in Germany and enjoyed it very much, however, it seemed empty to not have anyone close to share the experience with. So when we went on our honeymoon to the Canadian Rockies it was so awesome to look around and see things and have someone to share the experience with. From the time we were married until our 6th anniversary was a blessed time in our lives.

When I got back from Charleston, my boss told me I was not going to get a raise. The reason that is significant is that we had just bought our new house the previous August. It was a big move for us and our house payment more than doubled. We figured that after a couple of raises our money would not be so tight and we could afford it then.

However, the next month, April, I was laid off. I had a feeling that I would be let go and the night before Cindy and I talked and she said that even if they let me go, that we would still have each other.

Then in May Cindy started having pain in her upper back and shoulder. We did not know that that was cancer returning. She could not get relief from the pain and kept going to her family doctor. He could not figure it out and finally referred her to an orthopedic surgeon. He ordered an MRI when he could not find anything wrong. By this time months had passed. She was supposed to see her cancer doctor in July or August, but he went on vacation and called and asked if she would wait until the next month.

I received pay for several months and at first, we talked about me getting another job right away and getting paid double for a while. Well the job market just dried up and no work became available. One day we were in the car and Cindy brought up that we should think about putting the house on the market since that is what people do when they are out of work. That way when our money would run out, at least we would already have our house on the market. Neither one of us felt right about that, but that is what logic dictates. We had a radio preacher on and I don't remember the exact words we said, but he came on and repeated our exact words and then said to not do what man would do, but to trust God. So after that, we never did consider selling our house.

Our money ran out in August and we had enough money in the bank to pay our house payment September 1st and after that we could not pay the rest of our bills and have money to eat and live on.

So, the first week in September, her cancer doctor was finally called in and ordered the MRI. When the results came back, he called us into his office and said what I did not expect to hear. Her cancer had returned in her bones and internal organs. He basically said that she had months to live and that he would try and make her life as comfortable as possible. Cindy told the doctor that she did not want any chemo. We talked some more and he talked about hospice care. We came away from that doctor upset at how negative he talked to us. I couldn't accept what I had heard and thought the doctor didn't know God the way we did and how much faith we both had. I figured that God would heal her at some point and time along the way.

Our best friend Melinda was in South Africa and called crying on the morning of September 11. She was upset because all the flights had been canceled and she could not get back to be with Cindy at this time. She told us to turn on the TV and that is how we found out about 9-11.

It was like a dam had burst at this point in time. Money started pouring in from many different sources. People in our church gave us money. The ministry I am with gave us money. People in our neighborhood gave us money. Some of these were neighbors we had never met. Even the school PTA one day knocked on our door and gave us money. I did not even know that they did things like that. Near Christmas time, a local radio station had our Sarah (9 year old daughter) visit them. She got to meet the Backstreet boys and that is one of the few times I have seen her speechless. They called me at the house and said that Brian Littrell wanted to do something special for us and pay our gas bill for a whole year. Now this is very significant since Georgia had just deregulated natural gas and the price of gas had increased from 20 cents a therm to over 1 dollar a therm. One gas bill the previous winter had been over $600.00. God is so good!!!!!

Our church brought some meals for us 1 or 2 days a week. Our neighbors brought meals for a couple of days a week also. And then Sarah's elementary school class brought meals for us so that every day of the week was covered. This was hard for me since I used to be the one giving and now I was on the receiving end. I could receive on a one-time basis, but knowing that they would be doing the same thing next week really was really a challenge for me. I decided to leave a blessing and tell everyone that I prayed they would be more blessed for fixing the food than I was blessed by having the food to eat and not have to fix a meal every day for my whole family.

Our neighbors even got together and paid to have our house cleaned. That was a blessing and they even cleaned our house after that for free. One of the ladies who did this heard about our oldest daughter Caroline who was in college at that time and needed money to stay in school. She went back to her neighbors and some business people she knew and raised money to pay for Caroline's schooling that year. What can I say but that God is so so good!!!

Cindy had a friend whom she had not seen in years. When she found out that our insurance was running out, she could not stand the though of having cancer without insurance. So she paid the COBRA so our insurance would continue. Now this was a big expense every month and a big blessing for us. Again, what can I say but that God is so good!!!

One day Cindy was downstairs and started feeling weird. She wanted to go upstairs and lay down in her bed. When we got upstairs to the door way to our room, she keep looking up and asked if I had ever seen anything like that and then she fainted and feel down. I called 911 and they came and took her to the emergency room. The doctor said he thought she had a seizure caused by a brain tumor and gave her some medicine for that. While in the emergency room, we met a nurse who told us about a doctor that was rated as one of the best cancer doctors in the nation. She went on and on about how good this doctor was. So, we checked the doctor out and made an appointment for a 2nd opinion. We really liked this doctor since she gave us hope. She said that since Cindy had responded to chemo 5 years ago, that there was a chance chemo would help again. We ran test and found out that she had several tumors in her brain and that if they were not treated she would die sooner rather than later from the other cancer in her body. Having something wrong with the brain was very scary and so we decided to have daily radiation treatments, which would shrink the tumors so they would not cause a problem in the near future. She also decided to do chemo after the radiation treatments. Her hair did fall out and we bought a wig. We were hopeful during this time and just knew that God was going to heal her at some point in time.

Cindy's last Christmas was good. A lot of different people/groups asked for a list of what the kids wanted. We had so many presents that year that it was just more than one could imagine.

All during this time money flowed in from many different places. I could not have worked even if I did have a job. We never got behind on any of our bills. During this time, a husband in our church lost his job and they ended up loosing their house and having to move out of state back with their family. That makes it more amazing that God took care of us with 6 kids as well. God is so good!!!

After the 1st of the year, Cindy went into the hospital a couple of times and they treated her and she got well enough to go home. However, her health was going down hill. One day we tried to go to the mall and maybe see a movie and eat. Well she tried to walk in the mall and when the sliding doors opened automatically, she almost passed out. We sat in the seats just inside the doors of the mall and watched all the people walk by doing common ordinary things. She could not do anything but just sit there. One weekend when she felt a little better, we stayed in a hotel in the north Georgia Mountains for a night or 2. By summer, she was a lot weaker and in pain. She was taking all these pills; some were to counter side effects of others she was taking.

Around the 1st of June she went into the hospital again. I expected them to treat her and then go back home like the past 2 times. When we first went in, she was in a lot of pain. She needed to lay flat on her back to run some of the test and she could not do that because of the pain. After a couple of days she felt some better and so our faithful neighbors brought some of the kids to see her and then the next night the rest of the kids got to see her. After that, they took her down for test and said they would have to give her a shot. Well she did not want that, but they did and it knocked her out. After that she never was in her normal mind. They ran the test and then the doctor came in and said there is nothing more she can do and they were going to send her home for hospice care. Here internal organs had expanded so much with the cancer that they were pressing on her lungs and one lung was completely collapsed and the other only had the upper part working. God was so good in that the kids got to see her in her normal mind one last time.

Now I did not know anything about hospice care at home. The Lord had been telling me to "Be still and see the salvation of your God". He said He would take care of everything and for me to "Be still and know that I am God". So I was thinking that I had to arrange a bed and talk to the insurance people about all the details of what to do. Well, I got a phone call while still in the hospital and the lady said she was with the Hospice Care and asked if I knew what they did. I said no and she said they would take care of everything. They would arrange for a bed to be sent out and ready when we got home. Also, they would take care of all medicine and have it there with a nurse to come out to meet us. So, literally, I did not have to do anything.

They sent Cindy home on Sunday. They hospice nurse was very nice and such a wonderful person. Cindy did not recognize anyone or really know where she was. Most of the time she would just lay there half a sleep? All the signs were there that the end was near, but I just could not accept it and still thought that now for sure God was going to heal her.

My same faithful neighbors were such a big help at this time. Greg was unemployed at this time and yet took time to go and research funeral homes and graveyards. He brought me a list of places he had talked to on the phone and then gone out and visited. We picked the best one and he went with me to talk to them. They had quoted him a good deal over the phone and then when we got there, he even gave me a better deal. Also, we had checked into buying the casket separately since it was a lot cheaper and the funeral home said they would match the price if we bought from them. God is so good!

We also got a good price on the cemetery. I had to sign the papers while she was still alive or else the deal would have been void and they would have charged a whole lot more after she died. So, I signed the papers on Wednesday and she passed away on Thursday.

By this time, a lot people were at our house and coming and going. On Thursday morning I was sitting in the room with Cindy ready my bible and I could hear her slowly breathing. The Hospice nurse came in for her normal visit. I noticed she hurried over to Cindy and listened to heart. She then came over and hugged me and said that 'she has passed'. I couldn't believe it and looked at her and thought I still saw her breathing. She had a tear in her eye with a slight smile on her lips. That was unusual since she had no moisture left in her body. My parents were the only ones around and my kids were at the store. We called them home and got to spend some time in the room with Cindy and just the kids and me. It was a very moving experience. Just the other day Joshua was talking about how mommy was in the room and then she wasn't there anymore. He was referring to the fact that her spirit was gone even though her body was still there. After that, all the people started pouring in. God was so good to give us that quiet time alone. Remember that God said He would do everything and for me and to 'Be still and know that I am God'. I did not even have to call anyone about Cindy passing!

We had a memorial service for Cindy at our Church. We knew a lot of people and there were a lot there from many different walks of life. Cindy had wanted her funeral to be upbeat and to sing a Jewish dance song. So, we did that. I don't know what all was said, but afterwards, people came up to me and said that they had been to other funerals, but never one like this. They were sad when they came in, but upbeat when they left. I know that is what Cindy wanted.

<-Family History..........Home