HOW WE BECAME A FAMILY

Shortly after the death of my late husband Greg, I was awakened by the voice of the Lord. He said, "Steve Ussery will be your husband." Hearing this shook me up. I couldn't picture Steve and I together, nor did I want to. I had it in my heart that I would remain a widow. I had made a vow to Greg that I wouldn't marry again because I knew there would be no one else that would be as kind, patient and loving as he was to me. I just didn't understand why God would have told me so soon after Greg's death that I would remarry.

A few weeks had gone on and I never spoke a word of what the Lord shared with me to anyone. I saw Steve at church on Sunday and he leaned over me and apologized for not coming and seeing if I needed anything but that the Lord had laid it on his heart to come and see me. He asked if I needed any assistance with the maintenance on my house. I told him of a few things I knew that needed to be done and within a few days he was over checking them out. Every time he came over he would bring one or both of his children, Caroline and Jon. I would usually repay him by cooking them lunch or dinner. Eventually, they came over to just visit. Steve and I began praying together about certain things regarding the church but nothing on any personal or intimate level.

My sister, Beth was living in Lakeland, Florida and had asked me to come and visit her during the Thanksgiving Holiday. We planned to take the children to Disney World. Steve had asked me one night if I had plans for Thanksgiving and I told him I was taking the children to Disney World with my sister. He popped up and said I have always wanted to take the kids to Disney World. I don't know what came over me but I said "Well I will ask my sister and see if she will allow you to come and stay with her also and if so you can drive us all down there." After speaking to my sister, she was excited to have us all, I told Steve and he was so excited. Our trip to Florida would be in an about a week.

In the meantime, some mutual friends of ours, Karen and Clem, invited a group of people over for dinner who had helped work on one of our recent conferences for the ministry. Steve and I were both on that list to attend. We had made arrangements to drive over with our pastors Robert and Melinda Brondell, but at the last minute they backed out and decided to drive on their own. This left Steve and I to drive together. This was the first time Steve and I had been in car alone together. It felt a little strange. After the dinner, we left to come home. While driving, we both just happened to look up into the sky and the night was very dark and we saw a shooting star. I had never in my life seen one before. How amazing, I thought.

The Sunday before our trip to Florida with the children, a young man from the church came up to Steve and brought his bible opened. He said to Steve that the Lord told me to tell this to you. It was a passage in Genesis that talks about the bringing together of the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah. He said your bride is before you reach out and take her. Of course, I was sitting right next to him, and he showed me his bible and what the young man had said and I looked at his bible and the whole passage was marked up and underlined, you could tell he had read it many times. Of course, I didn't even bat an eye, what the Lord had told me many nights before still did not seem to gel with me.

I felt a bit overwhelmed to say the least. Every time I gave it even a moment's thought I could feel this unbelievable persecution that would come if I allowed this to happen. What would Greg's family think of me, what would my family, friends, pastors, co-workers think of me? They had all provided me with so much support not alone love and prayers but also financially over that past year and a half of Greg's illness. Would they think I didn't love Greg anymore or that I never loved him, or was I just using Greg's illness to have people feel sorry for me or get out of doing my share of work? Would they think of me as a fraud, a fake, or better yet an adulterer? These thoughts seemed to overwhelm me so I chose to not think of it.

Steve, the children and I had a very pleasant trip to Florida. It was about 2am when we arrived. For some reason Steve asked me to come outside with him. We looked up into the sky and low and behold there was a shooting star. I thought that this was very weird, I have seen a shooting star twice in my lifetime and both with him over the past few weeks. I thought to myself that the Lord was sending a sign to me from the heavens.

Two days had past and it was Thanksgiving Day. My sister and I got up and made a traditional Thanksgiving meal and we all enjoyed the food and company. Later that afternoon I sat on one end of a couch and Steve on the other while we were talking and before you knew it we were both asleep. Later that evening I told Steve I was going up the street to pick up a few brochures on Disney World and other attractions, he volunteered to take me. When we returned the children played a trick on us and locked us out of the house. So we went across the street to an adjacent park and started walking and talking. Steve said he had something he had to talk to me about. He said if he didn't his bones would dry up like Jeremiah and it was about to kill him if he didn't. He proceeded to say things to me about his feelings for me. As he was talking my thoughts seemed to be running together, as I knew what he was about to tell me. I thought, how would I react, what would I say? I felt nothing, I felt numb inside. I couldn't even look at him; I didn't want him to see my face. As he kept talking I felt as if there was a veil over my face. I wasn't ashamed, I just didn't want him to see me. I felt overwhelmed with so many unresolved issues, I don't think I said much of anything back to him other than when he said he knew the Lord had spoken to me about him too, I said "yes He has."

Later, after putting the children to bed, we sat in the living room and talked. He showed me again in his bible in the book of Genesis regarding the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah where the Lord had been speaking to him for over 10 months that he was preparing a bride for him. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that I made a promise to Greg that I would never remarry. He helped me understand that if I made this vow to Greg without God's leading then it could be broken. It was a vow I made because I loved him so much and I knew in my mind that no one could be as special as he was to me. After a few hours of talking and bearing my heart before Steve, I told him I still felt as if I was wearing a veil over my face and it was difficult to look at him nor did I want him to see me. He said he had read about that in the bible. Rebekah saw Isaac from afar and asked his servant who the man was and he told her that it was the man she was to marry and she quickly grabbed a veil and put it over her face and did not take it off until there marriage. I couldn't believe I had never read that before. Steve stood up from the couch and took my hand and lifted me from my seat and he kissed me softly on my lips. Nothing seemed to happen, no sparks, no fireworks, nothing! So again, he kissed me and as he was kissing me I felt my veil fall from my face, my heart became alive and I felt as if God have given me new life once again!

This is where the hard part came in, telling people of our betrothal. We began with my sister, she said she already knew by the spirit. Then our pastors and a few friends including one of Greg's sisters and they said they already knew by the spirit. The hard part was those who knew not the spirit of God or was willing to hear the spirit of God. This is where the persecution started. Friends and family ignoring us, people at my work talking behind my back and some telling me to my face that they thought I was having an affair with Steve while Greg was dying. Using everyone for his or her money or sympathy. All of this broke my heart. The hardest was Greg's parents and family. I love them all so much. I hadn't had a family in so long and I grew to love them all and share Greg's feelings for them. The persecution hurt, the known and the unknown, but we both knew that we were in the perfect will of God to be married.

I know God is the creator of all things good and I know that He and no other orchestrated my marriage to Steve. Our love for one another has grown tremendously over the years. I never thought I could have such a beautiful relationship with such a wonderful man of God. I am so blessed.